Rammi.cz

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
will be the official language of the European Union rather than German,
which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the
British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for
improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become
known as „Euro-English“. In the first year, „s“ will replace the soft
„c“. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The
hard „c“ will be dropped in favour of „k“. This should klear up
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing
publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome „ph“ will be
replaced with „f“. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In
the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the
horibl mes of the silent „e“ in the languag is disgrasful and it should
go away. By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing „th“ with „z“ and „w“ with „v“. During ze fifz yer, ze
unesesary „o“ kan be dropd from vords kontaining „ou“ and after ziz fifz
yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or
difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of
a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be
speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas. If zis mad you smil,
pleas pas on to oza pepl.