Dnes jsem četl dva vtipy, které se mi líbily tak, že jsem se rozhodl se o ně podělit.
Nechal jsem je v puvodním znění, protože jinak by asi přišly o smysl… teda hlavně ten druhý 🙂
passport control:
Name?
Abu Dalah Sarafi.
Sex?
Four times a week.
No, no, no….. male or female?
Male, female…… sometimes camel…….
a ten druhý je už poločeský:
Anglicky mluvici zlodej, cesky policajt a cesky prekladatel:
Policajt: „Kde jsou ty prachy?“
Prekladatel: „Where is the money ?“
Zlodej: „I ll not tell it!“
Prekladatel: „Nerekne.“
Policajt: „Jestli to nereknes, tak te zavreme!“
Prekladatel: „If you don’t tell it, you will be arrested .“
Zlodej: „I will not tell it!“
Prekladatel: „Nerekne.“
Policajt: „Jestli to nereknes, tak te zastrelime!“
Prekladatel: „If you don’t tell it, we will shoot you.“
Zlodej: „I have hid them in the garrage next to my home!“
Prekladatel: „Stejne nerekne!“
Pokud znáte nějaký dobrý vtip, neváhejte ho napsat do komentářů. Srandy není nikdy dost.
Vzhledem k velkému počtu komentářů na tomto blogu jsem se rozhodl taky něco přidat. Doufám, že se řádky a odstavce zalomí autoamticky.
From the sitcom The Vicar Of Dibley
A nun is having a bath – and a knock comes on the door. She says, ‚Who is it?‘ And the reply comes, ‚It’s the blind man – can I come in?‘ She think for a moment and she says, ‚Yes, come on in.‘ And the chap comes in and says, ‚Nice tits – where do you want me to hang the blind?‘
Two nuns are driving down the road of Transilvania. All of the sudden, a great big, scary vampire jumps out right in front of the car. One nun says to the other, ‚Show him your cross.‘ So, she winds down the window, leans out and says, ‚Get out of the way, you toothy git!‘
Superman is feeling a bit bored, because Spiderman and Batman are on a scuba diving course. So he hasn’t got anyone to play with. He is flying around and suddenly he sees Wonderwoman naked, spread-eagled, on the top of the tall building. He’s always fancied Wonderwoman, so he thinks, ‚Now’s my chance,‘ and he swoops down and faster then a speeding bullet does the business and then flies off again. A moment later, Wonderwoman says, ‚What was that?‘ And the Invisible Man climbs off her and says, ‚I don’t know, but it hurt a lot.‘
A ještě jeden
Three nuns get killed in a car crash and they go up to heaven. And Peter at the gate says, ‚I’m afraid you have to answer a question before you get in.‘ So he says to the first one, ‚What was the name of the first woman?‘ She says, ‚Eve.‘ and he says, ‚You’re in.‘ He says to the second one, ‚Where did Eve live?‘ She says, ‚The Garden of Eden.‘ He says, ‚You are in.‘ And he says to the third one who was the Mother Superior, ‚The question will have to be more tricky for you. What did Eve say when she first saw Adam?‘ Mother Superior hesitates, ‚Hmm… That’s a hard one.‘ And he says, ‚Yup, you’re in!‘
Heh 🙂